PRIDE and other observations

If there ever were a correlation of amount of freedom and city cleanliness, I would put stock into this study. Also there are variables that needed to be vectored in the study - Cultural History/ Population/ Demographic/ City infrastructure (a few that I can think of)

Fun Fact, I’m writing this post on while being seated in Qatar Business Class on the Boeing 787. Seats are so so, Amenities are amazing - Diptyque & The White Company, Stewardess Julia from Romania, an absolute Delight. Not that I have a ton of wealth that I’m flaunting but my recent IG stories may seem like it. I post a somewhat expensive lifestyle during a recent Edinburg-London-Zurich-Dublin trip. Trust me it cost me a lot. The 5 years ago me, would never spend this amount of money on lavish trips. But post Covid me realised that life is much shorter that what I expected and if I have the ability to live and spend in comfort, why not now? When I’m an old man, I don’t want to travel, I’d be sick of other humans by then. I’d be a plant dad and tend to my garden and get grumpy at local news. I think it’s a wonderful way to treat yourself when you can. My late father used to say “What’s the point of having so much money? You going to bring it to your grave?” Be frugal, yes, but all also don’t keep pushing moments that you can have now away for a later date. Enjoy swimming in the fountain of youth.

Back to my important study of Cities and Pride. What on earth are you going on about Thayalan? Dublin. It’s like seeing London in the 90s, but dirtier. The educated people are nice enough and when you look straight men in the eye, they give you a nod either meaning I’m not a threat to you or you’re alright. There is a fair share of Drug usage and all the pitfalls that come along with that - homelessness/ disregard for hygiene and cleanliness / vandalism. But there’s also avenues of self expression on a daily basis. You get to be who you want to be 24/7. I’ve never seen so many lesbians and trans people in my entire life, in one location. I found it thrilling to be exposed to such a spectrum of so many kinds of sexualities/ people. If I had to add a variable of truth to the study, it doesn’t really matter what you are but what matters there, is that you’re given a choice to be who you want to be. Although Ireland has a common history of emmigrants, oppression and freedom - as much as other countries, their take away bound with their cultural history seems to be that of acceptance rather than tolerance. Their Irish Blessings didn’t seem to belong to any religious denominations (in my perspective). There is an openness, casual nature and forthcoming spirit I noticed in the few days I city hopped. Growing up, I was somewhat closeted (I hate using that term) , somewhat shy and reluctant and generally always never making the first move.

Cut to:

I was at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin, an absolute immersive experience. If you’re ever there, you should visit. I was travelling alone and opted to join in to pour my own beer from the tap and as we were doing it in small groups I joined and American family of 4. Mother and Father in their 60s and what I gather, their daughter and son in law (I good at profiling, cute guy!) The mother was of Southern Dissent but not Deep South. Probably closer to the East Coast as her Daughter mentioned New York in their introductions. When I mentioned Singapore, during my introduction, their eyes lit up a little. We went about pouring our perfect pints of beer and sat down to enjoy them. I sat alone and they as a family sat together at another table. The older Blonde woman, charming, very well put together, then turns to me, notices me sitting by myself and says “Would you like to join us?” I don’t know her and haven’t been formally introduced. Was she being friendly? Was it white savior complex? No, there was a genuine caring whisper in her question to call to me. I being shy, declined her offer and declined. The entire time while I was gulping down my Guinness, I couldn’t stop thinking about why I declined. I could have probably had some nice banter but I’ll never know. I secretly wanted to be her - this white blonde older woman with grace and charm. But I was and probably still am that shy 14 year old Indian boy living secret to secret, a crab, changing from one shell to another. I would meet her again at the sky bar at the rooftop and exchange niceties and I wished her well. A gloomy day in Dublin it may have been, but a blonde-shine peaked through the clouds and gave me warmth. This is a reminder to channel my inner blonde woman. After all, they do seem to have so much fun.

Cut Back:       

Singapore- well manicured, rules, no drugs, (we have to be reminded to be courteous), clean, obedient, appearance of culture, ignorance of socio economic plights, over emphasis on stability and harmony. There is this notion of how the environment around you shapes you. And I could not help but wonder what the London or Zurich or Dublin version of me would have been. Would I have been more out loud and proud? Or be one of those gym gays pumping iron, 2 hours a day, 5 times a week (yes I did the math -  that’s the upkeep quota - I’m guessing there’s a backroom somewhere in the gym where the gays go to sign a special contact and take a blood oath) They are committed to being the height of human excellence which I secretly admire but I know in my heart or hearts I not that aspirational. Singapore is also tiny. Simply there aren’t enough places for you to go to escape your routine which can be a bummer. Perhaps this confinement has some correlation with repression in general. Everyone is walking around egg shells it seems. Guinness World Records needs to look into this but,  I think we  - Singaporeans may be the quickest at expressing our negative feedback about any matter. It’s second nature almost. Hence Pride or any deviation will always be fraught with a wave of options before it’s allowed to stand and take its place.

Pride in essence is not about showing off at all. I see it more of an SOS signal for those in need of it. It’s a beacon/shepard calling out to gather in a safe space and express yourself through parties, music, fun activities. You get to unabashedly be what you are and meet like minded individuals. You given the opportunity to celebrate your life on this planet and be thankful for the community that loves you back. There is no agenda of malice or trying to in-still a certain way of life. This planet is big enough to have many spaces of expression and if we start seeing it that way, perhaps there is a chance another 14 year old boy wouldn’t have to be that shy after all.

-T